How long will it take?
Given the individual and unique nature of relationships there aren’t a set number of sessions and there is also no prescribed course of action. Sometimes a series of sessions might be recommended to create sufficient opportunity to address issues.
The amount of time taken to attend to your relationship in this way depends on what couples want to achieve and the commitment they want to and are able to make to the process. Decisions about this are in your hands but it is always desirable to discuss this with the counsellor.
How does relationship therapy work?
Couple therapists use varied approaches informed by different perspectives but a consistent feature of couple counselling is that the relationship between partners, the connections and the disconnections are worked with. Therapy is an active, interactive process that takes time. The couple chooses the ‘agenda’ or issues worked with. There is no one size fits all approach.
What is the difference between relationship counselling and other types of counselling?
Relationship counsellors are specifically trained to address the dynamics of a relationship as well as the experiences of the individuals who are part of it.
Do we both need to come?
Couples are usually encouraged to attend counselling together unless there are safety concerns such as the presence of Family Violence. When you have identified the issue as a relationship issue by coming together, you bring your relationship as well as your individual experience. If your partner is unwilling to attend, relationship issues can be addressed through individual counselling.
How much does it cost?
Relationship counselling can be accessed both privately or through an agency.
Costs of relationship counselling vary.
– There are government-subsidized agencies that establish fees according to income.
– Private practitioners can be contacted directly and cost discussed as part of your initial inquiry.
Inquire about fees in advance, but it is important to note that good therapists do not necessarily charge the highest fees. Find out whether a rebate is possible through a private health fund.
Do we have individual sessions?
Sessions are for both to attend although individual sessions with each of you may be arranged as part of the assessment process or may be requested or suggested for some other reason but this would usually be discussed in a joint session, unless there are safety concerns.
How do I get my partner to come to counselling?
It is normal for one partner to be more willing to seek relationship help than the other. The wish to seek help is a sign of the value being placed on the relationship but reluctant partners can only be invited to attend. It is important to keep in mind that an initial appointment is an opportunity to explore whether you both feel counselling has the potential to be helpful.
Might we be advised to separate?
Clients are encouraged to make their own decisions. If separation is on your mind, it needs to be considered. The counsellor tries to assist couples in finding the most constructive outcome possible.
Can a relationship recover from an affair?
The discovery or disclosure of an affair is a very challenging time. There are many factors that influence whether a relationship can recover from an affair. It can be a time when underlying issues in the relationship come to light and in this there is an opportunity, after addressing the initial distress, for the relationship to grow and be strengthened. Whether the relationship survives or not there is a lot of benefit in having support and assistance at this time. Some relationships do recover.
How can a stranger help us?
Relationship counsellors are specifically trained and like other professionals, offer a confidential, non–judgemental and supportive approach to the problems couples and families present with. Whilst your specific experience is unique there are common issues that counsellors are familiar with and accustomed to helping people address.
How would you know what’s best for us?
You are the ones who decide what is best for you. Counselling provides an opportunity to understand yourself, your partner and your relationship better and for this to inform you in decisions about what is best for you.
Does the gender of the therapist matter?
The counsellor is a professional person who seeks to maintain neutrality. You or your partner may have a personal preference. This is something to discuss with your partner when choosing a counsellor to consult.
Can we be sure the counsellor is not biased?
Relationship counsellors are trained to focus on the relationship and work towards an understanding of the experience of both individuals involved without judgement or bias. If you feel the counsellor is biased this should be discussed in the session.
Do I need a referral?
A referral is not required. Sometimes your GP or other professionals you are engaged with can make recommendations.
Will counselling be confidential?
All personal information discussed in sessions remains confidential except when –
a) it is subpoenaed in court
b) failure to disclose information would put you or someone else at risk
c) or your counsellor has your prior approval to discuss material with another person e.g. a GP or a family member.
Does the counsellor take notes?
Counsellors are obliged to take notes either during or after the session. It is a requirement that notes are kept secure.
Notes are covered by the rules of confidentiality.
Do I have to prepare notes before a session?
There is no need to prepare notes before sessions. You may find it helpful to clarify your thoughts by writing and use your notes as a reference in sessions.